I never realized I was a type "A" personality until I got sick and laid low. I typically enjoy doing things and getting projects done. Being knocked off my pins by the operation has found me chaffing at the bit a little too often.
The doctor who did my operation told me it would be a slow healing process, I just never realized how slow a slow healing process could be. I do see a little progress each day, with the emphasis on "little". I know in several weeks I'll be able to much more that I can now, so I'm trying to keep focusing on that.
It's been a struggle trying to wrap my head around being semi disabled at the moment. Marti has been nothing short of wonderful taking care of me and handling almost everything. Along with having to deal with Krakatoa the ostomy bag which I have almost mastered, I have some small wounds from the incision on my stomach that have to be cleaned, packed and bandaged twice a day. Doc Marti swings into action and handles that for me, as well as keeping track of my temp and medicine intake.
Yesterday, I talked Marti into going into town and just walk around a couple of stores for some exercise and a change of scenery. I felt pretty good so she agreed and off we went. A couple of hours later I was completely wiped out, it was all I could do to get out of the car and lay down on my couch in the Journey. I didn't realize I didn't have a much energy as I thought I did.
One thing I find is a battle with emotions. I find that my moods can take some pretty serious swings back and forth, from feeling on top of the world to bouncing in the bottom of the pits. Thankfully my family and friends have been keeping tabs on me and giving me a lot of support. Here at the COE Volunteer Village most days we have a 5 o'clock happy hour where our fellow workampers drop by our site and hash out the day, with lots of fun and laughter. It's great medicine for me and always gives me a lift.
I'm focusing on getting through the next couple of weeks when I'll be able to do some light work for the COE, filing, answering phones, even some patrols in a vehicle around the parks. It's hard for me to accept sitting still and not making a contribution, I feel sometimes like I'm freeloading. The rangers have been great though and insist that it's okay and the important thing is to get better.
A month from now things will be different, we'll be on the road for a couple of weeks (with the doctor's blessing) before we return to Thurmond COE. I'm keeping my eye on that goal, it will be worth the wait.
Thanks again for all the comments and emails of support, it means so much to me and is very encouraging.