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Saturday, May 25, 2013

How Can I Be Such A Bad Shot?

Back during my Coast Guard days when I was doing my law enforcement stuff, I prided myself on what a great shot I was with the weapons I carried.  I won awards and medals and was rated an Expert Marksman on all the weapons we carried.  I went to the range to practice at least quarterly and am probably responsible for the ammunition shortage that exists today.

Shooting became second nature and it was very easy to hit the Bull’s Eye.

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Oops!  Not that kind, this kind!

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So here I am, getting ready for my cataract surgery on Tuesday morning at Six-Thirty AM.  That should be fun getting up early enough to make it.  Before I could get this surgery, over the last six months, I’ve seen a Doctor, an Optometrist (twice), an Ophthalmologist (twice) a nurse, and an anesthesiologist.  I been checked, rechecked and checked some more.

I even had to have an EKG to make sure all my sparkplugs were firing on all cylinders.

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Yep, the old ticker is in fine shape.

As a precursor to the actual surgery, I have been given three kinds of eye drops that I have to take four times a day for three days prior to the actual surgery.

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Marti even drew up a chart so I can keep track of when I took the drops.  (One more reason she’s handy to have around).

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So why, with all my expert marksmanship skills am I having so much trouble getting the drops in my eye, from one inch away?

I’ve gotten my mouth, my nose, my ear and my shirt, all in attempts to get the stupid little drops in my eye.  I’m even taking a deep breath and holding my hand steady!  I hope I have enough of the drops to get the prescribed amount in correctly before I run out.

Always something, but then, I don’t have the best of luck getting prepared for medical issues.  At least this isn’t as bad as when I had to do the prep for my colonoscopy.

I guess I’d better give back my expert marksmanship medals…

Thanks for visiting and feel free to leave a comment.

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16 comments:

  1. Don't worry about the early start time, they won't start without you.

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  2. Give those bottles to Marti - she has to do a better job then you are at hitting the eye. Good luck with the surgery. My Dad was really really happy with his.

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  3. Hope your surgery goes smoothly, and that you enjoy your new clear vision.

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  4. Good luck with your cataract surgery. Maybe once that's done you'll be able to put drops in your eyes from 30' away!

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  5. For the life of me, I cannot put drops directly into my eye. So...I pull the lower lid down, insert drops then tilt my head back and blink. Works like a charm! Good luck with the surgery.

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  6. Best of luck with your cataract surgery. After your surgery you'll be hitting the bulls eye better than ever.

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  7. I do the same as Donna K. My last appointment with an eye doctor, he put the drop in with my eye closed..and dropped it right in the corner. When I blinked..it went right in!

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  8. Oh what fun!! Just wait, I believe you will continue this fun for awhile AFTER your surgery;o)) Practice makes perfect!!

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  9. Your probably not hitting the Bull's eye because you were never trained on that caliber of weapon. That doesn't mean that your not good at shooting the bull. LOL. Good luck with the surgery and hope everything goes well.

    It's about time.

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  10. Funny post and funny comments. Sounds like you need to use the shotgun shatter approach.

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  11. There is simply nothing else for me to add with all the fun going on here. Just let Marti do it. Remember, she is handy to have around.

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  12. I agree. You need to put Marti in charge of those bottles. Let her be the captain this time. I bet she'll rate "expert" on her marksman skills too.

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  13. Where do you find these pictures? That first one is a scream. Best of luck with the surgery. I think you're only required to get some of the drops in.

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  14. One more vote for Marti! She is the most qualified! She isn't the one that needs eye surgery! I'll bet she can see what she's doing too :)
    Good luck Tuesday. Don't worry about making it on time. You'll probably not sleep all night anyhow :)

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  15. I had to put drops in my mother's eyes after her surgeries. Good to have a list,, you don't want to miss any.

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  16. Another vote for letting Marti do it. Those prescriptions cost money - no use washing your face with them.

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