I never realized I was a type "A" personality until I got sick and laid low. I typically enjoy doing things and getting projects done. Being knocked off my pins by the operation has found me chaffing at the bit a little too often.
The doctor who did my operation told me it would be a slow healing process, I just never realized how slow a slow healing process could be. I do see a little progress each day, with the emphasis on "little". I know in several weeks I'll be able to much more that I can now, so I'm trying to keep focusing on that.
It's been a struggle trying to wrap my head around being semi disabled at the moment. Marti has been nothing short of wonderful taking care of me and handling almost everything. Along with having to deal with Krakatoa the ostomy bag which I have almost mastered, I have some small wounds from the incision on my stomach that have to be cleaned, packed and bandaged twice a day. Doc Marti swings into action and handles that for me, as well as keeping track of my temp and medicine intake.
Yesterday, I talked Marti into going into town and just walk around a couple of stores for some exercise and a change of scenery. I felt pretty good so she agreed and off we went. A couple of hours later I was completely wiped out, it was all I could do to get out of the car and lay down on my couch in the Journey. I didn't realize I didn't have a much energy as I thought I did.
One thing I find is a battle with emotions. I find that my moods can take some pretty serious swings back and forth, from feeling on top of the world to bouncing in the bottom of the pits. Thankfully my family and friends have been keeping tabs on me and giving me a lot of support. Here at the COE Volunteer Village most days we have a 5 o'clock happy hour where our fellow workampers drop by our site and hash out the day, with lots of fun and laughter. It's great medicine for me and always gives me a lift.
I'm focusing on getting through the next couple of weeks when I'll be able to do some light work for the COE, filing, answering phones, even some patrols in a vehicle around the parks. It's hard for me to accept sitting still and not making a contribution, I feel sometimes like I'm freeloading. The rangers have been great though and insist that it's okay and the important thing is to get better.
A month from now things will be different, we'll be on the road for a couple of weeks (with the doctor's blessing) before we return to Thurmond COE. I'm keeping my eye on that goal, it will be worth the wait.
Thanks again for all the comments and emails of support, it means so much to me and is very encouraging.
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So glad you're up for visitors. Wish we were close to visit!
ReplyDeleteKeep on keeping on... one step at a time.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be very difficult to be in your position but you know that it's only temporary and you'll be back living life as before! Nice to be surrounded by loving,caring people.
ReplyDeleteTry to treat yourself the same way you would a friend in your situation. You would certainly never think of him as a freeloader given what he's been through. We know all about the emotional ups and downs. They may be the worst part but knowing that you will be getting better and your life will be pretty much just as it was seems like a miracle to us. Like Judy said............
ReplyDeleteHang in the Paul, you have heard getting old isn't for the weak, now you know first hand what they were talking about. Just continue Semper Gumby and steady the course.
ReplyDeleteone day at a time..enjoy the good moments and don't dwell on the not so good..you are most fortunate to have Marti to look after all your medical and emotional needs..feel better soon Paul!
ReplyDeleteGeeze man, give yourself some time to get it back together. It will come and from the sounds of it, you are right on track.
ReplyDeleteI find it very hard to sit still as well, keeping yourself mentally active will help pass the time and soon you will be raring to go and able to do it.
ReplyDeleteDon't rush your body through the healing process -- there is a reason why it is taking its own sweet time getting you back on your feet.
ReplyDeleteI think now would be a good time to binge watch some old series like Downton Abbey, 24, Breaking Bad or maybe given your love of motorcycles, how about Sons of Anarchy? That might keep you entertained while you're healing.
ReplyDeleteNo good will come from rushing your body to heal...take it slow and easy. You've got a lot of living to do and you want to be as healthier as possible. I really like what Sherry said..."Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend!!" Oh, BTW...all your friends want you to take it slow and easy so you are good as new!!!!
ReplyDeletePaul, From what we know of you, we would NEVER, EVER consider you a freeloader. You are the one who helps everyone. That's probably why it's so hard for you to have everyone want to help you. But, believe me, it's a godsend to have such a great support network around you. We enjoy your (and Marti's) blogs. So keep 'em coming. It really is rough when you think you can, but then poop out. Chin up, ole boy.
ReplyDeleteHang in there:) It took me a long time after my surgery 14 years ago to return to what passes as normal for me, but just focus on the fact that it will indeed happen:)
ReplyDelete