Marti's Musings: Another Sign?

It has been a heck of a week for us - which you have seen in the last couple of posts. (Sorry for the redundancy!).   We also have posted that more and more signs are pointing to next year being the "pull the plug" year. We have started the weeding out process (Very limited, with our crazy schedules) and repainting the interior of the house.  But there have still been so many things that cause me to pause and say: "but, what about..." (Fill in the blank for whatever).

One of those "Whatever's" is a my hairdresser.  I LOVE my hairdresser, hair stylist, and last visit I talked with her about the products that I fallen in love with, that she sells (She said she would ship them to me wherever I am!  Or find a local retailer wherever I am!) - but she has a way with my hair... doesn't matter how long between cuts, I can pretty much get my hair to look pretty decent...she also said she would see me when I am in town.. but how realistic is THAT?  For you guys out there, that is pretty significant, and the sign of a good cut!

So, today I get a call - my hair stylist is out indefinately.. with a fractured hand.  OUCH!  Now I will use a replacement she suggested, but it could be months before she is able to actually fully work again, as a stylist.  She is also the shop co-owner, so she may work but cut and style hair?  Doubtful!

After my first reaction of  "Oh no, that's awful!"  WHO will do my hair now?  My next thought was: "Is this just one more area that is a sign to break ties and get ready to move forward to FT?"  I definately think all signs are showing that each and every barrier and emotional attachment that I have here is one by one breaking or changing.

That includes my job.  I love what I do (most days), but there have been many changes lately, I have a new boss, and our (thankfully) growing and thriving company is feeling growing pains and changing in ways that make me think it will be easy to say good-bye.  This is so signficant for me, as it was only a year ago that I couldn't imagine telling my (then) boss I was leaving, nor walking away from a job that I felt was truly significant in making the lives of so many people better. 

With the changes in health care, reimbursement etc, I no longer feel like I can make a difference, too many things are out of my control, and not for the better.  I told Paul tonight that I felt like I was on a run away freight train, a horrible feeling.  See?  One more emotional area that has been changed, and now it will be easier to walk away from.  There will be some folks I will say goodbye to with a heavy heart, but for the most part, my frame of mind has totally changed.

I eagerly look forward to spending more time with my kids/grandkids.  Case in point:  I recieved a simple Facebook message from my sweet daughter:  I miss you, Mommy :-(  Nothing more than that.  (It has been a long time since she called me "Mommy") Yet, it tore my heart. 

Yes, it will be hard to say goodbye to some folks here, but it will be so worth it, to say "Hello" to my family, who are so much more important!!

Yup, one more sign.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave a comment.  ~Marti